One of the reason for the reoccurrence of challenges is inability to properly define what you want or need. Until a problem is properly defined and the root identified, there can’t be a lasting solution. Inability to properly define what you want causes inner contention – a state where nothing seems to satisfy you.
For instance, if you can’t properly define the exact career or spiritual peak you want to attain, or the exact thing you want in that marriage, then there’s nothing anyone will do that will satisfy you. Why? Because even you don’t know what you want or need. This is one of the causes of contention is any relationship be it among friends, in family, among colleagues, or in marriage – wife or husband not being able to communicate what they want or need in clear terms with their spouses.
To make it worse, these categories of persons does not only frustrate the people around them, they equally frustrate God’s effort too, making it difficult for Him to help them.
Luke 7:31–32 AMP says
[31] “To what then shall I compare the people of this generation [who set aside God’s plan], and what are they like? [32 They are like children sitting in the market place and calling to one another, and saying, ‘We played the flute for you [pretending to be at a wedding], and you did not dance; we sang a dirge [pretending to be at a funeral], and you did not weep [SO NOTHING WE DID APPEALED TO YOU].’
James 1:6–8 GNT also says
But when you pray, you must believe and not doubt at all. Whoever doubts is like a wave in the sea that is driven and blown about by the wind. IF YOU ARE LIKE THAT, UNABLE TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND AND UNDECIDED IN ALL YOU DO, YOU MUST NOT THINK THAT YOU WILL RECEIVE ANYTHING FROM THE LORD.
THE POINT IS: In any relationship you find yourself (marriage, business, etc.), make sure you first define the exact thing you want from that relationship and how that can be of mutual benefits. Then ensure you clearly communicate that to the other person. DON’T SAY you don’t want anything because saying that is a sign that you don’t know what you want or need. And DON’T ASSUME the person would know. This help both of you to clearly define and share responsibility amongst yourself and to also know what to expect from one another and from that relationship. Even if challenges surfaces later, then you can both know where the problem is coming from. This is one of the primary application of Amos 3:3 where the bible says “can two walk together except they agree?”. Meaning, there must be clear agreement of what you both want, for two persons in any relationship to successfully walk together. Always remember that until a problem or a need or a want is properly defined, the solution is not in view.
Posted by: Taiwo Divine
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